Monday, October 31, 2011

bright spot

I went up to visit Mark during his lunch break just a bit ago. We went to McDonald's and I watched him eat (and stole some fries, of course).

It was then that I remembered the happiness that is all around me. Happiness is right here, in the home we built, with him. Even through all of the stress of our lives, we are blessed because we have each other. So we didn't get a chance to carve pumpkins this year or hand out candy to the kids in the neighborhood. At the end of the night he's coming home to me, and that is more than sufficient to make my Halloween -and every day- happy.


This Halloween we are doing nothing. Absolutely nothing. We were planning to at least go to the pumpkin patch and maybe watch a scary movie, but never got around to it. Last Halloween we picked pumpkins, carved them, and went out to dinner. This Halloween - nothing.

Mark is working and I was supposed to be at class, but I stayed home today because I am just emotionally drained (not to mention swamped with homework that I never got a chance to work on this weekend). Life is really hard right now. We are both forced to work nearly full time to pay the bills, go to classes, and study. We don't have the time or the money to do anything fun. The spare time I do get is plagued with trying to keep the house clean, or feeling guilty that the house is a mess or that I have so much homework to do but would rather just veg out on the couch. It's really exhausting and I don't know how we are going to push through the next year and a half. It won't be easy, that's for sure.

I keep imagining the silver lining - the semester is nearly over! Christmas break! I can almost taste you! But after those few short weeks are up, it'll be right back to the grind. And same for over the summer - only at least I'll be taking one less class. It's hard to stay positive when everything that I'm looking forward to is so far away, and the near future is full of dread.

I've decided today, after feeling so upset that Halloween and most of the fall season has come and gone without me giving so much as a nod or a smile, that Thanksgiving and Christmas are going to be big time events. I am going to treasure every moment of this holiday season. I don't want to regret the short amount of time that we have without school obligations by spending my break sleeping and watching TV (which is all I do lately apart from my current school and work obligations).

I thought I was pretty good with time management, but I realize now that I have a lot of learning to do.

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

Grad School Update

I am pleased to announce that school is going really well for me so far! I have completed one 1/2 semester, 2 credit class so far and aced it! My other classes appear to be going equally as well - we'll see when I get another exam back on Friday. I have a lot of bigger assignments coming up in the next few weeks, and have started on my next 2 credit class as of last night, so I will really need to be in the zone as far as discipline and organization. There is much studying to be done!

The newest class I started is on Multicultural Counseling, and while at first I was feeling a bit timid about it, I'm really optimistic that I'm going to learn a lot. Growing up in the suburbs and attending a Christian school from pre-K until 12th grade wasn't exactly helpful in exposing me to diversity. Thankfully, since coming to college, my eyes have been opened to lots of different kinds of people from all different backgrounds. I do acknowledge that I have a lot to learn, still. I think even if I had been brought up in a different setting though, my culture would probably be different, but I wouldn't necessarily know more about other cultures. It makes me feel like all beginning students are probably in similar places.

Anyway, it should be really interesting - lots of discussions, debates, and hands on projects and interviews. I'm a little nervous about the interview part. We are supposed to either choose a cultural event to attend or a person to interview that is outside of our own background, and it cannot be somewhere you've gone to before or someone you know. Talk about nerve wracking! Our professor talked about how this is meant to be scary and to take you out of your comfort zone, so I guess I'm in the right place feelings-wise.

It's hard to believe only about six weeks remain until final exams! I'm really hoping I keep my grades up, and am considering even joining the honors society if I'm eligible. I think you only need 12 credits, which I will have earned by the semester's end. Wish me luck!
photo credit

Sunday, October 16, 2011

Relaxing weekend

As far as weekends go, I usually don't have many good things to say about them because they are always so busy. But this weekend I actually got to relax some, which was so great! I think I ended up doing a little bit too much relaxing to be honest - today I have quite a lot of studying and assignments to catch up on so I'm definitely not excited about that.

Friday afternoon I had class, and afterward I came home and did NOTHING. Absolutely nothing. I watched the movie "My Sister's Keeper," as well as 3 subsequent hours of TV and went to bed. It was glorious, but I think it set the tone for me being a little bit too lazy the rest of the weekend.

Saturday I had to work in the morning, and afterwards I went over to my family's house. We had been planning on going to the cider mill and go apple picking, but by the time we got there and with other events going on that night there just wasn't enough time. We ate some Burger King and played Clue instead. I also laid around on the couch and watched yet ANOTHER movie. Wow.

Later that night my parents left to go out and watch the Tigers game at a restaurant with some friends, so I stuck around with my two youngest siblings, who are 10 and 11, to hang out. We played Clue again, and Yahtzee, and ate some pizza rolls. I don't get to spend a lot of time usually with just the two little ones and I thought it was really fun. Hanging out with kids is always a blast, in my opinion.

Today has been super lazy so far! I need to get a move on getting some homework done and going grocery shopping but I'm having trouble getting the motivation to do those things. We were supposed to be going to a birthday party for Mark's side of the family, but unfortunately he ended up having to work - so it's just me and my kitty, lounging in bed, without a care in the world (except the pile of homework on the bed next to me).

Hope everyone else had a great weekend, too!

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Once upon a time,

Once upon a time, there was a precocious young man, whom everyone liked, named Jimmy Brooks.
 He started out as your typical eighth grader at Degrassi Community School, and everyone loved him. He had a fabulous relationship with his girlfriend Ashley, and was a star basketball player.

One day, a crazed and psychotic student named Rick shot Jimmy in the back for humiliating him in front of the whole school. It was actually Jimmy's best friend Spinner who came up with the scheme. The result? Jimmy became paralyzed.

After high school, Jimmy disappeared for a short time but later emerged - no longer paralyzed and under a new alias...
Yep. Same person. My beloved Jimmy Brooks, from Degrassi, suddenly becomes a "hip hop artist/rapper"??? I just can't get over it.

I know, I know. He's been around as "Drake" for at least a year, if not two, right? So why am I still hung up over it every time I heard him come on the radio. It just feels wrong. This is not the Jimmy Brooks I know and love. This is not the sweet and perhaps slightly misunderstood paraplegic who I grew up with, who was in eighth grade when I was in seventh, who I watched on TV religiously even after high school graduation. WHY, Jimmy/Drake? WHY are you making these confusing transitions that I just can't comprehend!? I mean, you used to play the drums in that band with your friends, but this is just not the same!

I am trying my best to accept this new "you." I'll get there eventually.