Wednesday, December 30, 2009

resolutions

Even though I already posted a pretty intense blog today I figured that because tomorrow is New Year's Eve I should probably prepare my list of New Year's Resolutions. It seems like almost every year I have the same resolutions that I never accomplish and each year starts blending together. But not this year! I'm going to be detailed.

1. Be healthier.
This encompasses a lot, I know. But like I said, I'll be detailed with what I resolve to do. Step one is to eliminate pop from my diet. I'll allow myself pop maybe twice per month. Once every other week. That will be extremely hard considering that Mark drinks a ton of coke and I'm the one who does the grocery shopping, so the temptation will definitely be there, but we'll see how it goes. Step two is to create a work out plan. Right now I've scheduled myself to work out at the OU gym on Wednesdays at 5:30 pm after my class for one hour (cardio), and Fridays after my class at 2:30 for one hour (cardio). Then I'll work on either my Pilates or Wedding workout DVD on Monday nights. I figure that's reasonable and it's not like I told myself this fall "YOU ARE GONNA GO WORK OUT EVERY DAY AFTER SCHOOL AND YOU ARE GONNA LIKE IT!" No. Not so much pressure. I'll also cut out most snacks, start taking vitamins regularly, and chart my nutritional intake on sparkpeople.

2. Obtain a higher GPA.
I don't have many specifics on this yet. I should do alright with studying considering my laptop won't connect to wireless internet right now so I'd be banned to Mark's office or else be forced to do homework (or watch TV, but who does that anymore?). I'm for sure making myself study guides again like I used to. Last semester was by far the laziest I've ever experienced.

3. Save money.
I've already started on this actually - I get money from my internship direct deposited and so I've alloted 5% to be sent directly to my savings account. This is a very SMALL step for sure, but then again when your very poor small steps are all you can do. I vow to pay off my credit card balance and to chart what I spend money on (I know all those out to lunch breaks are killing me) so that I can be sure to have a good chunk saved.

4. Keep an open mind.
Enough said. I'm so stubborn sometimes. I should not be. Life is short.

5. Buy/Rent a house.
No further explanation needed on that one either. It will probably be rent. The apartment is okay but ugh...I want a house.


I think that is probably the extent of it. I know that I could take steps to improve every facet of my life and I hope that I'll have the energy to do that. I'd like to make this year one of my top favorite years. 2007 still wins by a long shot which is upsetting to me. It used to feel like every year of my life got progressively better but growing up can be pretty stressful at times. I really hope this is a good year.

2010, here I come.

Torn.

I started writing this yesterday and then thought to myself that maybe I was getting too personal and should really keep this things inside. But after laying awake for a good five hours before falling asleep last night, I realize that writing is about the best thing I can do to clear my head. Always has been, always will be.

It's really hard figuring out your life. I know that God has his plan for me very clearly laid out and that's just fine, but it's not like he can send me some sort of e-mail or fortune cookie and clue me in a little!? I do trust that everything will turn out like it is supposed to with my life. What I don't trust is myself being patient enough to just let things happen and not drive myself crazy wondering about what if's and when's and how's. So rescheduling our wedding was obviously a part of God's plan because it happened already, not to mention all signs point to this being the most responsible thing to do as neither of us are financially independent enough nor have our own health coverage or even have reliable cars. It is hard to think about though that just a few months ago I was so excited to be planning for THIS summer to be our big day. And how over this break I've had so much free time on my hands to plan for THIS summer and now that free time was spend flipping through a book of invitations that I won't have to order until over a year from now. I know that if I had just planned it for 2011 from the start there would be no disappointments, but still...it's just a little sad.

I try to tell myself that I'll be super busy this summer anyways. I'll be taking two classes for each spring and summer sessions and then a full load for the fall so that I can graduate in December. But WHY? That's the other reason I was up tossing and turning. Just before bed I had been searching all over the internet for job lisitings in Michigan (horrible idea, don't do it, it'll really stress you out), and so all night I was just laying there wide-eyed imagining my life as an unemployed housewife with thousands in student loan debt.

Then I considered the fact that what kind of job am I looking for ANYWAY with a psych degree? I really need to look into some more options. Teaching certificate or graduate school or something. But graduate school really messes up my plans! What about starting mine and Mark's own little family? The only thing that has never changed in all of my plans that I've created for myself was picturing me as a mommy. It's probably the most important thing to me in general, after getting married. So when do babies come in? If I go to grad school and get an MA in counseling like is probably likely of me, then I'd have to start working for at least a year to make sure I can take leave when the baby is on his or her way. I'll probably be 26 or older at that point. It does sound ridiculous that I would complain about having children in my mid-twenties but I just can't see myself waiting that long (happily, obliginigly, not depressedly). But if I don't go to grad school the job outlook is bleak.

It's just hard trying to figure out what the plan is. In some ways, I can't just wait for it to fall into place. I still have the free will to go ahead and make a decision so that the plan is put in to action. For example, with my internship I had to go ahead and APPLY for it, ya know? The rest (like me getting the job) was in God's plan. And my applying was in God's plan too but like I said, he didn't call me up and tell me to go for it and it'll turn out well for me. I just had to do it. And I'll just have to do something after graduation. Unless a job falls into my lap, I'll have to do something. For the time being I just need to relax and not worry so much about what is going to happen.

Monday, December 28, 2009

ho ho ho!

It was a Merry Christmas indeed. I had a pretty good time. It was busy going back and forth between families but everything worked out well. My mom said I missed out on some funny stuff because after Mark and I left on Christmas day they played apples to apples and taboo I think so that would have been fun I suppose. Overall it was a good Christmas. I actually liked every single gift I got, there's nothing I need to exchange or return whatsoever! Which is odd I think that this is the first year that has ever happened. Next year I definitely need to eat smaller portions at each dinner so that I can actually eat everything I want to because on Christmas Eve I kind of at a lot at Logan's Roadhouse and when we got to Mark's family party there was a ton of yummy looking food. But I was so stuffed. I ate some anyways and became even more stuffed to the point of sleepy. So I'll need to even things out next year for sure.

Sometimes I think I am definitely a psychopath. Mark should have never showed me the wonders of gmail and google calendar because from now until September I have already filled the calendar with plans for the future. I love to plan things! It's like a sick obession because I'm always thinking about what's to come and not living in the present, which I really need to start doing. I think that will be part of my New Year's Resolution - to live in the moment and not worry so much about the future. At least the bright side is that all my spring and summer classes are picked out - I just need to enroll in them. And graduation day is marked in the calendar as well: December 18, 2010! YAY!

This weekend was also fun. Saturday I spent out with pretty close to all of my friends, shopping and eating and playing games. I brushed up on some eukre (sp?) which makes me happy because I always feel so awkward when I don't know how to play such games. But I should really be good because we were playing 6-handed at Alyse's the other night. Then we went to some little bar which I was very concerned would be scary and unpleasant but wasn't so bad. We didn't stay though, it was super crowded and there were like, 12 of us, so we moved the party to Boston's. I didn't realize Boston's was so poppin at night! Odd. The last few times I went there for dinner at like 6ish it was really un-crowded.

Yesterday was delightfully lazy and I stayed in my pajamas ALMOST all day until Mark came home and made me go to Wal-mart with him and buy some nerf-type gun that he wants for his birthday (even though his birthday is still over a week away!). And somehow the apartment already ate one of his darts. Okay, it's weird though. The apartment is small. There is literally no where that it could be at this point. Freaky if you ask me.

I think I've written about a novel now so I'm set!
PS - I'm writing this while I'm interning lol. There's nothing to do this week, most everyone is on vacation. I did see one girl today, so it was not totally lost!

Happy New Year's! It's coming soon!
Samantha

Thursday, December 24, 2009

hooray!

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all! I'm so glad it's finally here.

Right now I'm basically just waiting around to get ready, then Mark and I will be off to church with my family at 3:00, and then out to dinner at Logan's Roadhouse. After eating Mark and I are going to meet his parents and we're all driving together to his family party.

Tomorrow we'll be at my aunt and uncle's house for dinner at 1:00 and then heading over to his aunt and uncle's house for dinner around 4:00. The only thing I'm dreading is the ham. I'm not a fan of holiday ham! I'm just not. I'm a turkey girl all the way but Thanksgiving is the only time we ever eat turkey in my family. We'll see what Mark's family is eating - last year it was a really weird array of foods, like a make-your-own sandwiches station and fruit and vegetable trays and some other assorted appetizers.

I have no idea what's going on for New Year's as of yet. I told Mark that I'd really like it if we hung out with my friends this year so I'm pretty sure that's what we'll do. It's usually a lot more low key than the party his friends throw and I'm not a huge party-goer.

Anyways, hope everyone has a fun and safe holiday. Merry Christmas!

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

restarting food diary, day one.

I feel sickly today and I think that part of it is the antibiotics I'm on right now which cause drowsiness, and the other would most likely be my eating habits are so poor - again! So here goes nothing.

Breakfast - some apple juice when I woke up this morning. Around 9:30 I got an egg, cheese, and bacon sandwich and hash browns with ketchup and a wild cherry pepsi in the cafeteria at work.
Lunch - nothing really. I went home and my dad was checking out what's up with my car, and so I snacked a little bit on some fritos and dip and had a glass of water. I also ate a butterball cookie.
Dinner - KFC with the fam. I ate a wing, leg, coleslaw, mashed potatoes and gravy, mac and cheese, a biscuit with butter, and coke. Not good. I felt very full afterward and it wasn't really more food than I usually eat but I think the fact that my stomach hadn't really been full all day had something to do with it.
Snack - None as of yet. I'm drinking water here and there but I'm extremely tired and achy and feel as if I don't want to move, let alone eat. The only thing I will allow to move right now are my fingers as I type.

Exercise - None today really, aside from walking around the office here and there.

Overall health - Right now I'm kind of trying to figure out if everything is okay with my health or if something is up. I've had a swollen lymph node on the right side of my neck for some time now, probably since the middle of summer. I kept putting off going to the doctor but finally last week I made an appointment and went in. Doctor told me that it often happens where a lymph node will swell one day and just never go down, but to be safe we should check out what's going on since it has been so consistent. She had me get my blood drawn and referred me to an ear, nose, and throat specialist. I made the appointment for that, assuming I was supposed to, and then got a call with my results which were that my white blood cell count was high and that I was going to be put on antibiotics. Then if the lymph node still didn't go down I should see the specialist. I guess if it does go away I could cancel but I feel like maybe I should just go anyway. Just last night I was feeling around my neck and I found another really small lump just below it, which is concerning to me. I don't want anything to be overlooked so I'll probably just go. Seeing as I've suddenly become really tired and achy I'm thinking that the antibiotics are probably the cause. I think this because I started out on them feeling fine and now that I've taken them for a day it seems like I feel worse. Funny how that happens.

Tomorrow should be a fascinating journey through Christmas Eve. Be back soon.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

last day of long weekend #1

I'm going to be experiencing three long weekends in a row now that school is out for Christmas break and I am very excited about that. I'm working my internship Monday through Wednesday and then DONE. Of course next week means Christmas and the week after that means New Years but whatever. So this long weekend has been nice. Here are my plans for today:
I woke up, turned on the TV, laid in bed and watched "Saved!" which was on the Lifetime Movie Network. Gosh I love that movie. It's so funny.
Right now I'm sitting around near the kitchen hoping to evade disaster as I cook a cornish hen (last time I cooked one it didn't go so well) and listening to Mark annoyingly yell at the tv as he plays video games. Ugh. He's being so annoying. He better eat the food I cook him. He's going to work at 4 today which is why I'm cooking early so we can have a lunch/dinner.
I'll probably shower soon, get ready, maybe run to the store and get a few things, then come back and cook the side dishes.
After Mark leaves I'll be going over to eat Christmas cookies with my family. Yummy. And help them out with a few kinks they are working out with their new computer.
Then I'll most likely call Jodi and see if she wants to hang out for a bit. I do have to get up early tomorrow so it won't be a late night out.

Tomorrow we're having our girl's night out, after I have a little work gathering for one of the people who just recently got married, so tomorrow will be quite busy.

I'm loving not having classes though. I cannot wait until graduation. It feels more and more everyday like I really do NOT want to go to grad school, but it might be inevitable.

That's all for now!
Samantha.

Friday, December 18, 2009

DATE SET.

Our official wedding date is set for June 25, 2011. What a relief. I just got my grades back and I'm a little disappointed in myself, but now that I won't have so much wedding planning looming over my head I'll be able to focus more. Christmas is in exactly one week - I can't even believe it! December has been just flying by. I'm still contemplating a gift for my parents and one or two more gifts for Mark. No gifts for the sibs this year - there's just not enough money and too many of them. Next year I'm gonna try my hardest to make more and save more. That's one of my New Year's Resolutions.

There's some potential drama brewing at the internship, but I won't know all the details until we see what goes on on Monday. I'm not sure if I'm going to take some hours off or not. I can't really afford to but there's not going to be anything to do so I'm not sure what will happen with that yet.

Tonight I'm going to Buffalo Wild Wings and then to Chase's house, and tomorrow Mark and I are going to the movies with his parents. Then I'll probably go hang out with my family and eat Christmas cookies.

I went to the doctor today because I've had this swollen lymph node on the right side of my neck for months now. She said that I shouldn't be too concerned because sometimes that just happens - a lymph node will swell one day and it just stays that way forever. But it is possible that it could be something more serious, so she took some blood and referred me to an Ear Nose and Throat specialist and I have an appointment there on January 7. I'm not so worried right now but it's better to be safe than sorry.

I think that's about it for now. I'll update soon on all things work related and Christmas related!

-Sam-

Monday, December 7, 2009

oh my

So now that we've decided to postpone the wedding to a later date, that means that I can take more classes in the summer, and graduate in December like I wanted! Why do I want to graduate a semester early you may ask? My response: Why not? Why do I want to drag it out longer than it has to be? The only trouble is that for Fall 10 semester I need to find some sort of 2 credit class or else just have to overide and take 20 credits instead which is what I'll do I'm sure. I've also planned on having sociology be my second minor (even though I have yet to take a soc class). I don't really have much more requirements and all the rest is electives so I guess why not just do something constructive and possibly helpful for a future career, right? Right.

So the plan of action is to take one class spring semester and two classes summer semester, and then it will end up being five for the fall and then graduation. I hope that that works out. I don't see why not. But then again I'm always jumping the gun about everything and getting overly excited and then have to end up taking a step back and slowing things down (ahem). But my current mindframe says that this should all be good. Let's hope it is.

Studying is going...eh okay. I'm done with biology for now - after my first two exams tomorrow I have a span of four hours to finish studying before the bio exam at 7. Stats is all I'm going to focus on now. I mostly have to just write my study sheet out and then maybe read some notes/book. I will be so glad when stats is over. I think I've said that probably twenty times but really. It's so annoying.

I don't think my GPA is going to be that great this semester. I'm a little sad about it but that just means a new opportunity next semester to study harder. I'm hoping for an A in English and B's in everything else. Hoping. It might end up being all B's (boo). It's my own fault for not studying hard enough. I mean stats was inevitable, biology I should have spent way more time on, and adulthood/aging was just not working out for me with the 8 AM thing. I was way too exhausted to get up and go half the time. That was really bad of me. I should have done much better in that class but I was lazy. It's my own fault. I need to practice some self-discipline.

Well,I need to take a break and go watch Santa Clause is coming to town! Yes, I love Christmas.

rescheduled

So I changed my entire schedule. I'm dropping the bio minor and redeclaring the english minor. And I am very happy about that. Here's my new schedule:

Winter Semester 2010 Schedule
Course Instructor Days Time Bldg Room
PSY-337-001 Hansen R 05:30 P.M.-08:50 P.M. SFH 268

SOC-100-004 Spurlock MWF 01:20 P.M.-02:27 P.M. VAR 205

PSY-225-003 Meyer T 05:30 P.M.-08:50 P.M. NFH 156

ENG-300-002 Hawkins MW 03:30 P.M.-05:17 P.M. SFH 364

Hooray! I have much to study still. I'm about finished with biology and my final stats lab. I have to write out my stats study sheet still and maybe go through some of the other bio study guides. For english I don't really have to do anything - I looked through my notes but there doesn't seem to be anything I would struggle with.

As far as wedding news goes, we have decided to postpone for one year. I'm not sure what the new date is, we'll have to work everything out next week. I'm a little sad but it's probably for the best - we need to be more financially independent before getting married.

That's all for now!

Friday, December 4, 2009

Not happy. Not happy at all. I just wrote out my to-do list for all things related to studying for finals. Tried to space everything out so that I'm not focusing on just one subject and neglecting the others as I've tended to do so often this semester. Now the trouble is actually getting myself into gear. I might have to force myself to go to the library tomorrow just so I can attempt to get something done! Ugh. Ugh ugh ugh.

Today was pig out day at work. There was so much food, it was ridiculous. The board room was full of all types of normal food and snacks and then outside in the hallway were tables of desserts and pop. I have to say normally I love the food days but there was nothing especially appealing to me this time around. Of course, I still ate (come on now people) but the options weren't my favorite. I guess some of them were more practical and again, a thousand desserts which desserts aren't really my favorite. But it was still good.

Most of the day was spent trying to ID one of our girls in a video that some kid took on their phone of a girl fight that broke out yesterday. The issue was that we had specifically seen her wearing blue coach shoes just an hour before that fight, and in the video they looked white (poor quality and very small). We finally found a way to make it larger and then slowly ran through it and paused and we definitely saw some blue on her shoes. Plus it's not so far fetched to be her because a) assault was her first offense anyway and b) the other girls we could pick out as people she had been hanging around earlier based on size and what they were wearing. That took quite a lot of time though. I did manage to go to two schools and one home visit though. And at the home visit the mom was there which is always helpful - sometimes kids don't always tell the whole truth about their behavior at home. Overall it was a fairly average day at work.

I came home today and made tacos and messed them up somehow. They were okay I guess. And created my to-do list and now here I am, not doing anything on the list at all. I won't panic too much though since I'm taking off work on Monday to study and so I have the whole weekend plus Monday. Three of the finals are on Tuesday though which is pretty miserable. And one on Thursday so I won't have to deal with that one too much this weekend but I absolutely need an A on it so it'll be squeezed in here and there.

I cannot tell you how glad I am that this semester is about to be OVER. It's been far too much.

Here's my class schedule for next semester:
BIO-206-002 Bee, M T 04:00 P.M.-07:00 P.M. SEB 34


BIO-113-008 Fishwild, T TR 01:00 P.M.-02:47 P.M. DHE 200


PSY-337-001 Hansen, R R 05:30 P.M.-08:50 P.M. SFH 268


BIO-205-002 Bee, M MW 05:30 P.M.-07:17 P.M. ODH 204


BIO-116-010 Gamboa, G W 02:00 P.M.-05:00 P.M. DHE 212

That's about it. I'll get to work now...

Thursday, December 3, 2009

last day of classes!

I am so happy that this is the last day of classes! I have been feeling kind of yucky today and I had too much stats homework that I didn't finish so I skipped 8 AM and did homework, then spent a little time working on the practice exam in stats and just came home. Mark and I went out to lunch at McDonald's and then I came home and tried to nap but I'm having a hard time clearing my thoughts even though I'm very tired. Now, just have to make it to English at 3 and Bio at 5:30 and then DONE! Finally.

I think I'll probably be making tacos for dinner tonight. Mark and I might be going to the movies, although he keeps saying "there's nothing to see but New Moon" so I don't know what we'll do. I already saw New Moon and didn't LOVE it but I am a fan of the series so I don't mind going again I suppose.

Tomorrow I'll be interning until about 2:30 and then the whole weekend including Monday will be devoted to studying, except for the few hours I'll be working at Dairy Queen on Sunday afternoon. It's bound to be very exhausting. I can't believe all of my exams are cumulative. ALL of them. This semester has been mentally draining for some reason. I've had a difficult time adjusting and staying focused.

Wedding things are a little bit complex right now. I'll update as soon as I know more info. That's all for now.

Monday, November 30, 2009

boo

Sometimes I get sad that the world is so corrupted. And everyone in it is also corrupt. And it's just sad. Kids these days. Sometimes I feel like I went from 17 to 30 in a matter of a few years. But I'd rather that, to be honest. I've said it before (not in this blog) that college life is not for me.

And I really like working at my internship. Trying to help people. The kids actually look up to me in some ways. They feel like they can relate to me which is super weird - more than one kid has asked me whereabouts I live in Pontiac and which High School in Pontiac I graduated from (do I look like a Pontiac dweller?) but I think it's kind of nice in a way that they don't all just look at me as the priveledged white girl. I'm really glad. Of course you can't get through to all kids - they have to have a certain disposition, unfortunately. It goes to show that people really don't change, easily or maybe even at all. Or maybe they more often change for the worse, as it's more challenging to change for the better probably.

I feel like my thoughts and feelings aren't making sense when I write them out. I'm just going to go contemplate to myself. Goodbye.

Wednesday, November 25, 2009

fail.

I'm upset. Real upset. I don't know what is with my grades this semester. They aren't any good, that's for sure! I don't know if I have just been working too much, or if I haven't adjusted my studying level to the class difficulty level, or what it is, but I'm really not doing so great. I mean I'm not doing BAD as in actually failing, but I'm not doing my usual best. It's upsetting. I've had a hard time staying focused this semester - need to really pick that up.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

ah psychology

I'm 3 pages in to my paper now, one article down and two-three more to go. Technically I only need two more and then analysis but I think I might just use all four for good measure. I think it's doing okay. I don't know.

I just baked some brownies and they seem all wrong. They are brownies with walnuts in them and then you squeeze caramel over top and then bake them. They came in this box.




And all it seemed to do was burn the caramel on top and not really cook the brownies all the way through. I took them out of the oven anyways because I didn't want to burn the caramel anymore so they are probaby going to be a little underdone, but I haven't tried them yet.

Thanksgiving is less than a week away. I'm bringing cresent rolls for my family's dinner and then for Mark's I think I'll make the other box of brownies that I have, or the Oatmeal raisin cookies. There was this deal at Meijer a few weeks back where if you buy three Betty Crocker products (cake, brownie, cookie, whatever) you get a free dozen eggs. Sounds like a good deal to me! And I got a coupon at the check out for another free dozen eggs. I think I'm getting pretty awesome at scoping out grocery deals and being frugal when grocery shopping. Now I'll I need to do is restrain myself from going out to eat and actually make the food that I buy!

I guess I should get back to work. This paper needs to be at least seven full pages. So I'm not even quite half way there. Sigh.

Tuesday, November 17, 2009

swamped.

Of course I am. It is the end of the semester after all. But I'm really having some difficulties with managing it all. My only real option at this point is to stay up later...since I'm a firm believer that there is no humane way to spend every waking moment in class, at work, or doing homework. I have to stop and eat and relax a little! Not to mention try to add to the wedding plans...ugh. I still don't know what to do about a pastor! I might try and check and see if the day is still available at St. Peter and just not be so worried about it. I'm making a big project out of this it seems and I haven't actually spoken to a real, live pastor yet!

Sometimes I wonder if I've chosen the right path for my life. Major for example - it really seems like I should have been an English major sometimes. I'm good at English. I like reading, always have. So why was I being so difficult and deciding on psychology? Not that I'm bad at psychology but it's definitely not as easy as English would be. I'm sure everything will be fine though. No use in changing now. What's done is done and I just have to keep pressing on. My English class currently is a really great class but unfortunately the book we're reading right now (All The Kings Men by Robert Penn Warren...I really like it a lot it's beautifully written and interesting) is so LONG and the readings assigned take hours. Not to mention the homework for my stats class takes at least an hour per assignment without fail. Then I have a biology test on Thursday and my final paper for Aging on Sunday...I haven't even picked a topic for that yet. I'm so behind.

It'll be nice someday when school is over and all you have to do is go to work for eight hours and come home and relax or even do chores or cook dinner, I don't care, I'll do that stuff! School is just ughhhhhhh. I just can't WAIT for Christmas break. I can't wait I can't wait I can't wait!

Thursday, November 5, 2009

november?

It's November? Seriously? Oh well.

I feel like I've suddenly become the laziest person on earth via not going to class and not really doing any homework or doing it at the very last second. I'm looking forward very much to Saturday (day off!).

Wedding world update:
I e-mailed the photographer today and said that we would like to book, so we're booked. Now we'll have to figure out what package we went and any extras, sign the contract, send in deposit, ect. I e-mailed back to see about that coupon for a free engagement session so we'll see what that was about tomorrow. And maybe we'll be having an engagement session soon which means I need to start working out asap. But I've transformed into superlazyperson so I don't know when asap will be.

Also checked back in with the woman who runs the premarital program at KCC and she said just to let her know whenever we want to start. So I'll probably give it a week or two and head that up. It takes six months and we've still got over eight so I'm not in a huge rush on that. Just another thing to add to our schedule. Although I'm excited about the whole thing actually. Maybe it's the psychology major/caseworker in me that really appreciates counseling - I don't know.

I'm just in a little bit of a mental health rut right now and need to bounce back. I got about eleven hours of sleep last night and still felt super super lazy. I hope I'm not getting sick.

Hope everyone is enjoying the fall weather while it lasts...I'm sure snow won't be too far off!

Samantha :)

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

howdy ya'll

Mark and I have been watching WAY too much True Blood and so the Southern accent is coming out a little bit in me (show takes place in Louisiana). So sorry about that.

So what's new? I've got nothing pretty much. Another long week. Yesterday and today have felt so long I want to scream. I'm avoiding doing homework tonight just because I already feel like I'm going to lose it. Tomorrow I'll get done interning, go to the bank and such, carve pumpkins possibly, and then do homework the rest of the night. And then devote Thursday night to writing an English paper. And then work day and night Friday. And then WEEKEND. Halloween weekend - I decided I am going to go to State and visit Jodi because I have not visited her in quite a long time and it seems like an ideal occasion. I don't know what I'm going to be though. I'm really not a big Halloween person. I was considering throwing together some sort of Hippie costume with my real clothes. Shouldn't be too difficult ;)

I got my Bio test back with an 87% and am thrilled. That's really an amazing feat. The average was pretty low again so our teacher added five points to everyone's test and that's how I wound up with an 87 instead of an 80. But 7% is quite a curve I would say! That's fine with me, as long as I'm not the one failing all the time.

And my stats test was today and somehow I was messing up my power problem even though I drew my distribution correctly I was somehow subtracting the wrong means and blah blah and my teacher tried correcting me like 3 times and I just was not comprehending and felt really stupid when she finally just spelled it out for me. At least I know I got that question right though. It's awfully nice of her to go through and check our work before we turn in our exams. (Only the written problems, the test also has multiple choice and essay so we don't have it THAT easy but it is really sweet of her.)

Wedding stuff is at a bit of a standstill while we consider this photographer we met with last Friday and debate where we should go for our honeymoon. I'm leaning towards Jamaica still. It might be the Bahamas. I really want to go to California and go to Disneyland. We'll just have to keep weighing the prices and pros and cons and I'll let ya know what we end up with ;) I'm sure you're all dying to know.

Bye.

Thursday, October 22, 2009

what wedding?

wedding? i don't know what you are talking about. i'm supposed to be planning a wedding?

oh.

right.

well i'm getting on it, i'm getting on it. i did set up a photography appointment for tomorrow after work. plus we'll need to meet with my neighbor who could do photos for possibly cheap. and there's that guy that Mark works with that has potential. so not all is lost.
i figure i'll go back out bridesmaid dress hunting next month sometime - maybe thanksgiving time. maybe not specifically black friday, but saturday or sunday perhaps? yes.
then there's the issue of flowers which i don't really care about at all at this point. i'm so bad. i put a florist's number in my phone...i just need to actually call it.
invitations will be nothing special. i plan on buying some from target or joann fabric's and printing them myself. but i'll have to get addresses and be sure the guest list is what i want it to be. ugh.

is my wedding going to be ugly?

i just have WAY too much homework to do and difficulties concentrating on it. it's pretty sad that my english 320 class is my blow off/enjoyable/nice break as compared to my bio 111 and psy 251 (stats) classes. ugh. whatever. i need a vacationnnnnnn

Monday, October 19, 2009

slave to it all.

You know what the trouble is with the world nowadays? There is way too much technology. No no I'm not complaining because I don't LIKE all of the technology - I love it in fact. I adore it. I worship it even. I can't tear myself away. It's like my eyes are permanently glued to the tv and my hands glued to my laptop leaving my fingers to type freely. And homework? HOMEWORK? well that's the issue, isn't it? You can't seriously be giving me homework that needs to be done on my computer!? Don't you know I don't have an ounce of self-control within me to resist from opening up a new tab and totally disregarding the important studying that I need to get done?

I thought possibly that writing this blog would help me to get it out of my system and GET TO WORK. If it's not one thing, it's another though. Gossip Girl is on - and it's not like I even religiously watch this show! But it's on, and I'm near the TV, and now I can't seem to turn it off. I need to start locking myself in the bathroom with my books. There is nothing remotely technologically distracting in there besides a hair dryer perhaps. I don't think you could really be distracted by a hair dryer but who knows; might go into withdrawals.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

Many checks!

Not checks as in money - I wish! I mean checks off of my to-do list of life.

Yesterday was an extremely productive day. This week has been in general, although it has been too busy. But after work yesterday I went to meet with an academic adviser to make sure I am on the right track with everything and ask for some advice about doing some prerequisites for the Occupational Therapy program at Wayne State that I hope I'll eventually get into. So that was a really good meeting - I only have 45 credits left until graduation! I suppose 45 sounds like a lot but that's not including winter 10 so I am in perfect shape. I also changed my minor from English to Biology (wow) because with all of the Biology prereqs I need I only have to take three extra Bio courses, and that fits well because I only have 4 psychology classes left to take and no more gen eds or distribution. So yay!

Next, my mom, grandma, and I went to Group USA to look at dresses again because I was almost certain of the one dress and I wanted to just buy it now because they were having a sale for 100 dollars off any gown. Strangely enough, I found a totally different dress that I hadn't tried on before and LOVED IT. I can't believe I didn't see it before. It's so pretty and the cut is very flattering, and it still is kind of princess like but not overdone. I even found a potential veil (if I decide I want a veil). So we bought that last night and it was only $400. Which is good for a wedding dress! I saved at least 100-200 bucks compared to other dresses I liked.

This morning I finally decided on a schedule for the winter semester. I was getting so stressed and annoyed - it's really hard to try and figure out a way to work in my internship and figure out classes, especially since I have to take very specific classes now. So I ended up with 17 credits but didn't manage any days with no classes or work at all like I wanted. Although Friday I only have one class for an hour so that's not bad at all. Here's my hopeful schedule:

Mondays - Internship 8:30-12:30; Bio 113 1:20-2:27, Bio 207 3:30-5:17, Psy 344 5:30-8:50 (long day! I hope I survive that one)
Tuesdays - Internship 8:30-5
Wednesdays-Bio 113 1:20-2:27, Bio 207 3:30-5:17, Bio 116 6-9 (another long day but at least I get to sleep in!)
Thursdays - Internship 8:30-5, Psy 337 5:30-8:50 (sounds bad also but it should be alright)
Fridays - Bio 113 1:20-2:27 and THAT'S IT!

Saturdays and Sundays are to be determined, but I'm fairly certain that I won't have time to work elsewhere. These classes are going to take up a majority of my time and energy and it looks like I don't have much time for homework except on Tuesday nights, Friday nights, and Saturday and Sunday. Plus - don't I ever get to relax? So I doubt that I'll work anywhere else. maybe just one day out of the weekend but right now I'm doing two days and I hate it. I should be hurriedly working on homework now before I have to work at 5....

So that's my productivity as of late! I will update on anything else as soon as I do something...photography appointments should be set up this month and such. And I am closing in on a officiant/church to be marry us. I hope that come into fruition this month as well.

Thursday, October 8, 2009

bahahahaha

The Office! The Office!

I'm not like a die hard fan and watch every episode but I basically know the characters and watch when I can.

Oh my gosh it's so funny.

I feel like I'm failing at school.

I'm buying a wedding dress tomorrow.

Monday, October 5, 2009

to do today.

work at internship
do laundry
make a grilled chicken sandwich in the toaster oven
finish my english powerpoint/presentation
finish my english paper
study for my stats exam
study for my adulthood & aging exam
read "the sound and the fury"
do more laundry
die

Thursday, October 1, 2009

junior year of college =

very complex.
My classes are difficult. I feel much busier than the previous years, and I don't feel like I'm working THAT much more. I'd like to relax right now and I'm going to try - but I keep thinking about the other homework/study related things that I need to do over this weekend. A lot of stuff.

Today I ate like garbage. A granola bar, a slice of pizza, doritos, coke, a pumpkin muffin (mmm), milk, 1/4 of a huge chimichanga, chips and salsa. Yesterday was about the same, but the two days before that were good and I worked out on Tuesday so I'm feeling alright. I'll need to work out at least one other day this week.

Wedding plans are a little bit confused right now. I'm not going to go with the first florist I saw but I don't have any other appointments set up. I'll make a dress decision this weekend. Still don't know for sure what I want to do about a pastor.

I think I'm undeclaring my English minor. As much as I like reading, it's harder work than I expected. Plus I'm going to be swamped with science courses and psychology courses and that'll be all I'll have the energy for!

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

busy busy

Wedding Update:
We went to a florist yesterday to check out what they have and prices and such. Nothing really to say about it. I'm not sold. The salesperson seemed really distracted or like rushing through or something. It was weird, I don't know.

As far as a day in my life goes, it has been productive I'd say. I went to classes at 8 and 10 and got out early, came home and ate lunch, cleaned up the kitchen/dining room/living room and vacuumed, worked out, showered, and here I am. I'll be leaving in a few for my next two class and then come home and eat dinner, and then I have a LOT of homework to do! A lot.

Tomorrow I'm interning until 5 and then later going to show my mom those dresses from Arena. And we'll see if I hopefully make a decision. And then I'll be back home to study some more! I have a lot of exams coming up. And a presentation/paper that I need to do.

So I have to go! I can't even write too much. Boo.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

blahblah

So I decided to skip some classes today. Yes...I'm bad. I was just so tired! Far too tired to go to my 8 AM. And then I decided that going to my 5:30 PM class was highly unnecessary. That's why I'm here...not catching up on homework or housework or anything. Oh well. I'll get to it.

I was looking up quite a bit about honeymoons today. Hawaii has been officially crossed off the list. No matter what I do, it's way too expensive! So now I think it's going to be something like Jamaica or Aruba, which I'm very happy with. I would be happy with any sort of tropical vacation. And if all else fails and we want to go uber cheap, there's always Florida or something.

I changed my mind and I'm not taking pictures of food (stupid idea) but here's what I ate today. I didn't eat breakfast because I slept late instead. For lunch I ate an English Muffin pizza, but it's better than it sounds because it was a 100-calorie muffin and the cheese was reduced fat. And I tried to eat a peach but I don't think I really like peaches. Then for dinner I was SO hungry and I cooked myself a huge fattening meal of fried eggs, bacon, hash browns, and toast. It was great. But probably really cholesterol-ish.

I'm so glad the weekend is almost here! Tomorrow I have to work at the internship AND dairy queen but Saturday is a full day off! And we're having a little birthday dinner for my grandpa. So I'm really glad that Saturday is coming. Sunday won't be so bad either; I only work from 11 to 4. I can't wait until I'm laid off from DQ for the year! I'll be so happy. My weekends will be totally devoted to sleeping, homework, and wedding planning. YES!

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

a little change in blog structure

So first I'll go ahead with the wedding updates. I booked the DJ! So that's that. My next stop is to turn in the application form for the Pastor at church. And after that I guess I need to decide on a dress ASAP. As far as photographers go, I think we are basically set with that. Mark has a coworker that does wedding photography so I believe we will be going with him and getting a good price at that. I'm glad we don't have to go searching around for yet ANOTHER wedding related thing. I'm already thinking that I'm not very excited about going to this flower appointment. I read on one of theknot.com boards that someone went simply to the grocery store and got bouquets and corsages made all for 83 bucks. So I am seriously considering checking out Sam's Club and Costco at the very least, as I'm not sure which other kinds of grocery stores would supply a great variety of flowers.

Now, on to my new ideas for this blog. In order to become a fit and healthy person, I have been trying to keep a food diary so that I can keep on track with what I'm eating. I've been keeping this diary for a long time, maybe two years, but it just never seemed to work for me. I tried posting on some messageboards on self.com where everyone posts their food diary publicly, but this didn't really help me either.

My new idea is to start posting some stuff on here, including posting pictures or links to pictures. I'm not sure which yet. My hope is that maybe if I actually SEE what I'm putting into my mouth after the fact rather than just writing down the words, it will make some sort of a difference for me and I'll really start to eat healthy. I didn't get pictures for all of my meals today because I only came up with the idea after lunch, but starting tomorrow I hope I'll get everything up here.

School is alright. I'm super sleepy and hate waking up early. Sam and I went out to dinner tonight and that was fun. Now I'm ready to just go to bed! Goodnight :)

Saturday, September 19, 2009

LONG DAY. but maybe productive?

Today was a dress shopping day and I am about exhausted now. It is my only day off this week but I think that much has been accomplished. SO, I went to Arena Bridal with Sabrina, Laura, Sam, Jodi, and my Grandma to look at a real live bridal shop for dresses. My original plan was that we were going to hit at least three different bridal shops and maybe take an hour or so at each. In fact, we never even left Arena! There were so many dresses and a lot of beautiful ones that I didn't even feel like I needed to leave at all.

It's really hard to tell what a dress looks like when it's just sitting there on the rack. I had everyone just grab pretty much whatever they thought might look good and I did the same and then tried them all on. I took pictures as well just so that I remember what they look like. Man! I was really surprised at how un-picky I am. There were quite a few of them that I liked, and none of them were all that similar. There was one each of pretty much all styles, even a mermaid ish one which I thought I really disliked. I ended up with a top five, the top two probably being the most drastically different from each other - one was really elaborate, covered with lace and beads, vintage-y, and the most expensive of all of them. The other was the cheapest I found, very simple, a little bit poofy, with just a tiny bit of beading. We also found a top two bridesmaids dresses complete with a color picked out. At that point we had already spent a few hours and we took a break for lunch.

Jodi and I later went back to Group USA to try on that original dress that I liked and first and I suppose I do still like it but it was hard to tell at that point because I was just tired and the atmosphere in there is kind of a turn off. Not saying that I'm too good to buy a dress at a store in great lakes crossing or anything, it just doesn't have that same feeling like "wow! I'm in a bridal shop trying on dresses" and the salespeople don't really do anything and the lighting in there wasn't great. I don't know. I still like the dress. I would be happy with any of the ones I picked out. It's just HARD to decide! People talk about this moment where they are like "this is the one" but I like a lot of them and could really seriously consider myself in all of them. So what to do? The lady at Arena said dresses need to be ordered early because they take 8 months to come in after ordering! And then another one or two for alterations. That makes me extremely nervous. The wedding is about ten months away. So I need to get a move on!

In other news, on Monday I will be signing the contract and putting down the deposit for our DJ. I'm pretty thrilled about that. I have very good vibes coming from this DJ. Or maybe very bad vibes coming from the other options...whatever. I think it's a combination of both.

Next, I NEED to look into photographers. Who would have thought that there is SO much to do?

Good thing I have superior time-management skills.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

budget issues.

So I knew going in that booking the wedding on a Saturday meant that we were going to have to spend more. I also realize that the more people that are invited the more money we will have to be spending. However, I didn't think that it would start to compromise what we're spending on everything else! Now I feel like we're in a bit of a jam. I've spoken with three DJs and met with two, all of which have been rated very highly by various sources that I have looked into and therefore all of them have somewhat high prices, but nothing too crazy. I'm just concerned that I'll start booking this and that and soon...the money will run out and there will be nothing left for the honeymoon or things.

So, I've started thinking that it might be a better idea to book the honeymoon FIRST and then budget with the remaining money whatever we need to. I found a trip to Jamaica, flight and hotel, for what seems like a good price to me (who doesn't know anything about the prices of trips). All I know is that it was nearly 2,000 bucks cheaper than Hawaii. Now all I need to do is convince Mark that that is where we should go! I know it would be a great honeymoon. The hotel even has a waterpark in it, and it is right off of the ocean. Plus I really want to go out of the country because I've never been ANYWHERE and this seems to be a fantastic opportunity for that.

It would really put my mind at ease if we booked SOMETHING else. I have another phone number of a DJ I could call that is Mark's aunt and uncles' neighbor. But they live pretty far away and it seems like it would be more of a hassle than anything else especially since these other people are so close and have been known for doing a good job. So, I think by Monday I should like to book. I think. I have to corner Mark somehow and make him help me decide.

In other news, I am planning on going dress shopping this week, just to some ACTUAL bridal shops and such to make sure there isn't something else that I love that is still inexpensive. I'm almost sure that the first dress I found will be the one though. I love it so much, and it's pretty cheap to boot! I'll want to go ahead and buy that soon too because it needs to be shipped in (the store only carries "candlelight" and I want it in "white.")

I'll be sure to update on Monday if a final decision about the DJ and honeymoon has been made. I haven't been so great with updating this thing with school and whatnot but I did drop this one credit lab that was going to make me crazy so now I have three hours of more time per week in which to wedding plan! :)

Thursday, September 10, 2009

school is BACK.

After some striking delays, school is back in session today. I was really convinced that there would not be school and so I didn't even concern myself with setting an alarm for 5:00 AM and checking my e-mail. I even planned on going to work at the internship today instead. But no - school is back.

I might be way in over my head after all. I do have 5 classes, but I figured the only ones that would really be difficult were my major (psychology) classes. And I'm worried already. It just seems like there is going to be SO much to do with school and the internship and wedding planning and then trying to squeeze in working at Dairy Queen? I assume I'll have to cut back to one day a week and eventually I'll hopefully need to just get laid off.

Everything about OU right now seems very corrupted, what with the tuition increases and the freezing of faculty salary as well as cutting their health care, all while the president is making 350,000 bucks a year? and the school is making a profit of over 10 million dollars each year? it all seems very very wrong.

I still have two classes today at 3 and 5:30, and then I'm planning to drag myself into the gym while I'm on campus and work out for a while. What a day it has been/will be.

Thursday, September 3, 2009

July 17!

I didn't realize I hadn't updated with the latest in wedding news! Well the date has been decided...July 17, 2010! Deposit has been put down and everything. I am very excited and I think the date is perfect. I'll have time to take a class spring semester if I choose to do so, and there is plenty of time before school starts back up in the fall (aka - time for a honeymoon!). I'm planning on going up to the church soon and speak with one of the pastors about the wedding and if they could possibly come to another location besides the church, probably on Monday night. I'm really not sure which Pastor I would like to do the ceremony though. Maybe any St. Peter's kids have a suggestion?

I've also set up an appointment to meet with a DJ on Tuesday night, and set up an appointment with Viviano Flowers at the end of the month. In between that, on weekends I'll be out dress shopping when I'm not working or doing homework. Of course at this rate, with the teachers strike, there isn't any class at all let alone homework! What good timing.

That's pretty much it for now. I will of course update as much as possible for anyone interested in hearing about all things wedding.

Monday, August 24, 2009

monday

It really wasn't too difficult getting up this morning - I actually woke up around 7 and waited for my alarm to go off at 7:15. I even had time to blow dry my hair properly, pack my lunch, and eat a yogurt before I headed out! I have the worst knot ever in my back right now, near my shoulder blade. Is it even I knot? It just hurts.

Speaking of the knot...I've narrowed down wedding dates (again). This is the trouble with being an indecisive person. I guess it could be worse...I could be indecisive about getting married altogether! Lucky for me I'm indecisive about the little things in life, like what day I should get married and where to go for a honeymoon. I've decided to give up on the labor day weekend wedding even though it was a cute idea being that we met labor day weekend but I don't especially want to get married and then have classes start two days later. And being that I'll be heading off to grad school also, that means that the next free labor day weekend wouldn't be until 3 or 4 years from now...so I'd rather not wait that long. Besides, my parents did have the valid point that a lot of people use that weekend to go up north and such.

So the dates that I am going to force Mark to choose tonight are as follows...July 17, July 24, and August 28. I personally prefer July 17. July 24 is the day after Adriana's birthday but when I mentioned that to my mom she was like "so?" but I still kind of would rather there be some space. August 28 would work, there would be enough time then before school starts but July 17 would mean even MORE time before school starts so I'd prefer that one. And it's not TOO soon in summer so that I can still take another class spring semester like I plan. Then everything would work out perfectly. Why am I even asking for his opinion? I should have just called and put a hold on July 17.

The next thing I want to do after that is booked is be sure to call up my church and ask if the pastor's actually do wedding ceremonies outside of the church (because I want a garden wedding at the venue). If they don't, I guess I need to search out a pastor somewhere else...which I actually have an idea of one I found on theknot.com because they have listings of EVERYTHING.

I seriously think WAY TOO MUCH. I have an overactive brain. I'm constantly thinking about this wedding and about school and about after school life and about everything that I won't need to worry about for years! Somehow I need to learn to calm down and live IN the moment, which I am horrible at. Even more important now that it is really hitting on me hard how fragile and uncertain life can be. There has been way too much death this summer...and not even all of it touching my life personally. But seriously...it really makes me want to stop worrying about the future so much because who knows what the future will hold? All I know is that I am alive right now in this moment. Everything else about my future is a little fuzzy.

My posts are seeming to be annoyingly long when I don't update for certain periods of time. I enjoy writing a lot though. I have missed writing. My classes this past semester never even involved much writing at all - so I'm probably rusty! My blogging skills might be a little shaky. I apologize.

That's all for now I think. I will update much more frequently especially about all things wedding related! Hopefully anyone who is reading will enjoy my little squeals of girly delight about it all.

Friday, August 21, 2009

upcoming events

Somehow, summer has flown by more quickly than I ever imagined it could have. I don't know what I was expecting - I have been working anywhere from 35 to 45 hours per week at two separate jobs. At least I got a couple vacations - Silver Lake and Cedar Point, which I just returned from. I love Cedar Point. It was a pretty good time, despite some semi-drama and some inclement weather for a slight portion of our day in the park. Otherwise I had a fabulous time. Rollercoasters might be one of my favorite things in the world.

School is coming up very quickly now, a little less than two weeks! I rented a few of my books off chegg.com today but I didn't have much money in which to order. I spent about a hundred dollars on three of the books plus shipping, which isn't even that good considering one was a novel and one was an APA style book. I might send back that last one if I find out that I can get the same information just from online or something. It does say required though so who knows. That leaves me with ten more books to get. Yes, ten. (I'm taking an English class and we're reading like 6 novels, one of which I already read senior year but I'll need to reread it anyways).

I'm hoping I can figure out today how much I should take out in extra loan so that I can get some money back and buy the rest of those books. I want to buy them asap but I won't get another check for a few weeks. I'll have to look into that.

Anyways I work the rest of the weekend unfortunately. I don't think I'll be getting a day off until next Saturday when we have our family picnic and talk about wedding stuff and make some actual FINAL decisions because I just can't seem to pinpoint when the best day will be for the wedding. And the week after that school will start so there will be less work going on.

That's basically it. There's going to be a girls night next week which I am very excited about. And Labor Day weekend I am hoping that Mark and I can go to Arts, Beats, and Eats since it'll be two years since we met there. And then our two year anniversary is coming up next month which is exciting so yay!

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

simple life

This week already feels like it's been long and I'm sleepy, but I will update anyways. Today was my 8-hour workday at the internship which always feels super long, and wasn't too productive either it seemed. Tuesdays we always have morning staff meetings and there was only one briefing that a caseworker did on a kid which is really weird. Then the other intern and I went to see two of the girls we didn't get a chance to see yesterday, and only one was home. And then we saw another kid at CV, and then I went to court for a few hours again with another caseworker. Then we had an appointment to meet the new kid and sign him to phase 1, and I read most of his file, and that was really it. Maybe that SOUNDS productive but it didn't feel like it at all compared to yesterday for example. Thursday I'm going to be the only one working (Ms. Lawrence won't be there either) so that should be interesting. I wonder where I should go/what I should do.

I've been playing the Sims 3 when I get home from work like clockwork lately. I guess that's in place of homework which I don't have to do yet (because school hasn't started up again). And in place of working at DQ after work because I just do NOT want to work twice in one day, it's too annoying and tiring. And in place of wedding planning, although I did do some guest list creation/budgeting today and talked to my mom about some stuff with it. I figured out that my new improved budget will cover everything for about 180 people with like 400 bucks to spare which sadly is not enough for a honeymoon, unless we cut people out or cut other expenses...OR I found that you can register on websites where people give you money for a honeymoon instead of buying you stuff from Macy's or wherever we would decide so I think that is a possible option. And if that was the case I was thinking I might sign up for both the honeymoon website and a regular store in case the less technology-savvy relatives and others would rather just go to the store and look up our registry. We could always use SOME stuff too, just a few necessities like mixing bowls and regular plates and bowls not the cheap plastic ones we currently have that might give us cancer.

I'm about to go to bed now though I'm SLEEPY! I had the weirdest dream last night that was kind of scary I just thought of; I hope it doesn't repeat itself since I just thought of it. Not SCARY because I never have scary dreams really but it was weird and a little unsettling when I woke up (during the dream I was weirded out but not scared). It was some conspiracy going on where a guy was keeping a bunch of people hostage in the attic and blocked off roads and was flooding the area around us and like EVERYONE was somehow in on it, I don't know. I love dreams, so fascinating. Isn't it funny how no one knows why people dream? I think that's so cool. I would like to know why of course, but I like the fact that it's a mystery. Makes it even cooler.

Monday, August 3, 2009

everyday stuff.

Life lately is all the same, day in and day out. I'm either working or interning. And then coming home and doing nothing basically. That's about it. Obsessing over wedding stuff isn't even that fun anymore although updates with all that have happened but I don't feel like sharing much. I'm starting to just wish that school would START already so that I'd at least get to go to school as opposed to mostly just working all the time. I don't want to work all the time! We're going to Cedar Point soon so that is exciting.

Right now Mark and I are making brownies. As if I didn't have enough junk food I wanted to eat all the time! I love food too much. I can't honestly think of too many foods that I DON'T like! :( bleh

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

ewwwie

MY FEET STINK.
I need some new shoes I guess. Gosh, I hate when that happens, when you have to wear the same pair of flats too many days in a row and then they get ruined! And especially in the summer, and especially being outside for maybe 45% of the time you are wearing them, getting in and out of the car and such, or even traveling in the car when it's hot!

I don't know about your car air conditioner, but when I turn it on panel and floor, it's so much less powerful because it's dividing the air and it really does nothing to help me. But if I do just feet most of the cold air somehow gets lost. So I can't cool down my feet! And then they smell. NOT GOOD.

Today was Tuesday, which means it was a court day, which means I learned about legal things and heard a variety of cases and such. I kind of like going to court. I'm supposed to present in court on one of our cases whenever one finally shows up and actually, I don't think it would be too hard or nerve wracking. Especially since I've been in the various courtrooms (on the first floor anyways) for hours and hours these past two weeks and a few of the referees are recognizing me now and even chatting with me. Some of the prosecutors too. It's kind of cool; makes me feel like a real adult, haha. I am kind of interested in whatever job the prosecutors do. So far what I'm getting out of it is that they are the ones that testify on behalf of the people (everyone), and I'm not sure what else. It seems like it would be a very interesting job.

My dieting (yes, after the trillion times that I have always SAID I'm going to diet I'm really trying now) has been going decently, but not today. I woke up too late to pack my lunch and now I'm drinking a very large Coke and there's just no way to salvage it. Today will be my cheating day I guess. And cheat I shall - Arby's for lunch, pizza for dinner?

There's a Caseworker's picnic this Friday at 3 and one of the other caseworker's intern, Kim, wants me to go because she doesn't want to be the only intern. I don't know if I want to go. But everybody is really funny so it might be fun to go and get some free food in the process. Maybe I will after all.

Sincerely, Samantha

Saturday, July 25, 2009

really getting somewhere!

I have to say, I am about the happiest person ever right now. Last night Mark and I went to Tina's Country House to try the food there and it was REALLY good. We were sold. In fact we aren't even planning on going to visit anywhere else, especially because this place has a gorgeous garden like I've been wanting. So now all we have to do is A) figure out our budget/how much parents will be contributing and B) set the date! depending on what they say.

Now originally I have been all for this June 2011 wedding and I would still be happy with that BUT if we could make it even sooner - I can't even explain my excitement. Especially because we could do something on Labor Day weekend 2010 which is when we met each other in 2007 and had our first date and I think that would be very cute. But it really all depends on what kind of money we'll have. If we don't have enough for that soon, then we'll have to hold back until June 12, 2011 like was my originally set date. Or we may compromise on the last Sunday of August 2010 because Mark is worried about the weather for some reason (like a week would make any difference).

Plus if you book a Sunday in 2010 you get a free upgrade to premium bar, and any date booked in 2010 you get a free champagne toast for all guests, which is good incentive I think.

I am just so excited I can't stand it! I need to calm down though. There's going to be a lot to do once we decide a day and I don't want to be all stressing myself out already!

Saturday, July 18, 2009

not looking forward to this week.

This week is going to be absolutely horrendous. Not only am I already in freak-out-mode where I can't think about anything besides planning out my life, but I'm working almost 50 hours over the course of this week at DQ and the courthouse. Which is kind of good because I'll actually have money leftover once all the bills are paid, but I'm going to be so exhausted I know it. And super crabby.

Today I looked at a bunch of wedding stuff as usual; started looking up photographers and prices and wow... expensive. Like half the cost of the entire ceremony and reception. Not to mention a DJ is going to be equally as expensive. And I still want to rent a photobooth so that'll be another chunk of money. I haven't looked at flower prices AT ALL yet, and not really invitations either.

Then I was budgeting around figuring out what I have and what I need and blah blah blah. Then Mark came home from work and we went to Murray's to get some stuff for his car so he can fix all the thousand things that are wrong with it tomorrow. And I went to work, which was interesting because all the managers were gone but really not that much different than a usual day because no one that is all that new was working. So I don't really see what the big deal was that people were going to be gone: we're not incompetent or anything. We know what we need to do. It kind of annoys me a lot how little I am trusted/valued at that place. I just keep telling myself that this is definitely not a forever thing - soon I'll be graduating and going to grad school and getting more internships and a real job!!!!!! A real live career. Ahhhhhh I can't wait (seriously).

I'm just looking forward to going to taste food at Tina's Country House. I'm unsure where else I want to look at before making a final decision on a reception venue. I guess I should talk to my church soon and see about getting a pastor to do the ceremony and such?

OKAY SHUT UP ABOUT THIS WEDDING. It's so far away. Maybe we'll be able to make the date sooner, like August or September 2010. That'd be awesome! Although June is the month I really want most of all but I'd still be content with either of the others.

But seriously I might die of exhaustion this week. I have one day off. One day down, five more days in a row of working to go before a day off.

Friday, July 17, 2009

Saw some venues!!! :)

Yes that's right, I finally dragged my man out with me to check out a couple ceremony+reception sites that I was interested in. I have a huge leaning towards having a garden wedding and an indoor reception, as well as having the ceremony and reception at the same place, so I decided to go ahead and look at two different places, Rivercrest in Rochester, MI and Tina's Country House in Macomb, MI.

Rivercrest was the first stop, and they were in the middle of setting up for a wedding so we didn't see the place to it's full potential BUT the outside of the building had us a little bit taken aback. Mark actually wanted to turn around and leave and not even go inside! It just looked like an average office building, even less attractive than average, with some extra trees around the back where I could tell the garden area would be. However, the prices and the ceremony site intrigued me and so I forced him to go inside despite the lackluster first impression.

The day before I had been e-mailing back and forth with a woman and told her that I would like to come in sometime before noon, maybe around 11:30. The man that greeted us, after an introduction where I said that I had been e-mailing this girl, proceeded to say something like, "Oh yes this was supposed to be that 11:00 appointment" in kind of a dismissing manner like "Oh yeah you were supposed to be here earlier and now you're arriving late" which I wasn't. I may be young, and look young, but I am not irresponsible and he just gave off that vibe that I didn't appreciate. But we continued with the tour anyway. There were two rooms, and a very small (I thought) patio area to conduct the ceremony. A patch of garden across the way and a river running through the back. Good prices, but the place just didn't feel like there had been much newness of upkeep. Maybe I would have felt differently if it was TOTALLY set up, but the second room was set up pretty much all except chair covers.

I tried to be open-minded and optimistic, even though FH was totally turned off by this place. I tried reasoning that we should keep it open as an option, given the good prices and the nice garden (I didn't realize how small it was at the time).

Next we went to Tina's Country House. Wow. Totally different vibe. Although there is a run-down tavern out front, the gorgeous garden and quaint, beautiful hall make up for it totally. The place was very well kept, the woman showing us around was nice but not overbearing - she didn't say much and she didn't need to, the place spoke for itself. Prices are fantastic and so much is included. I should probably look at more places but I feel like my heart is set on that one...

Friday, July 3, 2009

Latest

As usual, I am busy as a bee working and working at my internship. However today is the last day that I'm working and then it's off to Silver Lake with Mark and his family for an entire week! I am excited and yet don't know really what to expect...last summer Mark and I went alone and tent camped for a few days. I should be packing right now but I still have some time.

As usual, I am also just as obsessed with wedding stuff as ever. I can't imagine what I would be like if I was actually getting married NEXT year as opposed to two years from now. My brain probably would have overloaded. I feel that it's kind of natural though, being engaged for around 6 months and moving in with your fiance SHOULD erupt some cravings for wedding bliss, right? Right.

So this is my latest find, two latest finds actually. One is a ceremony site only, and one is a ceremony and reception site, although you could have just the reception if you wanted to.

Ceremony: http://www.whitehouseweddingchapel.com/index2.html
Ceremony and/or Reception: http://www.rivercrestcatering.com/index.php

I don't know about pricing for that wedding chapel but they have packages which INCLUDE a certain amount of time for pictures, which I assume means a photographer is included in the package but I'm not sure. The second one I priced out and it's about 1,000-2,000 dollars cheaper than Cherry Creek and is very pretty/gardeny on the outside and nice on the inside (from what I can tell in pictures).

I should really go pack though. I am just so excited about this whole thing. I can hardly stand it!

Tuesday, June 23, 2009

Boring day.

Wasn't it though? Today was awfully dull. I went to my internship, and it was a court day which means a lot of waiting around and not a whole lot of excitement. There was some good news, and some bad, so blah. We did visit one kid at Lifeskills which is a school in Pontiac, I believe it is another alternative school. I wrote up all my progress notes and then had like nothing else to do.

Mark went to work basically when I was getting off so I've been all alone. Cooked myself a lovely dinner of Chef Boyardee ravioli and an English muffin. I bought the whole grain English muffins so as to attempt to be healthy and actually they are kind of working out for me. I'm getting used to eating whole grains.

I guess maybe the highlight was talking to an admissions counselor for forty minutes who I think seemed like a student too from the University of Phoenix, and us trying to figure out if there really is a Masters in Mental Health Counseling degree there or not. It seems like a really different school; she said you only take one class and then it's over in six weeks? It might be a little bit too weird for me but I'll still keep checking it out, what the heck. I have a year to decide where I really want to apply for grad school anyway. I believe the decision stands that I really am going to go to grad school. A few programs seem to be two years or less so that won't be too miserable.

I really have a problem with obsessing about the future though! Planning out my school year next year, planning out my potential grad school stuff, planning out my wedding...anything you can think of about your life in the future I have began thinking about/planning for. Except buying a house, that's one thing I haven't looked into. I've even looked into Life Insurance! I think I might have some rare form of OCD.

I'm almost finished with watching my childhood on video. I actually skipped ahead to my birthday tape and I'm on the seventh birthday right now. There's nothing else to watch; I've exhausted myself with TV for the night. True Hollywood Story, E! News, "Bring it On - All or Nothing," and 20/20 on teen pregnancy have caused me enough headache for tonight.

And Mark left me to go see Transformers at midnight with guys from work. At first he asked me if I wanted to go and I grudgingly obliged but I was kind of secretly glad I had something to do but then he went with work people instead and I'm stuck here bored and alone :(

In two weeks we (me and Mark and his family) are going to Silver Lake to camp and then in August me and my family are going to Cedar Point camping for three days. That's kind of nice that I get a few vacations.

I think that's all for tonight,
Samantha

Monday, June 22, 2009

going bananas about weddings!


And by bananas I mean the color yellow? I mean DUH yellow is like my favorite color besides pink but I like them both in different ways. Yellow I think would just fit so nicely. This website, theknot.com, is becoming my obsession. I chose a pretend wedding date of like June 17, 2011 just to see what would happen and such and there are actually real live people on there planning for June '11 weddings and have already booked their halls and stuff! So I'm a little concerned that my wedding fund (although my money goal plan has been created) is at $0 right now. But seriously, you should see some of this stuff. I've fallen in LOVE with this cake right here...and it was made in Royal Oak apparently!


So what did I do today? Interned during the day; summer school started for some of the kids and a few others Ms. Lawrence and I visited houses. After that I came home and studied for an hour for my final exam in Social Psychology today. I am officially done with another requirement for my psych major! It was two classes out of a certain 4, whatever... I think I did well too! I really needed to after studying for the entirely WRONG chapter last exam and my grade reflecting that...although really, it could have been much worse. I think I got like a 2.6 or something.

After that I came home and Mark and I went over the bills that arrived in the mail today (oh great, but at least we'll get everything out of the way at once?) and then I made dinner consisting of popcorn chicken, fries, and broccoli. I wish I had a deep fryer but I don't, so I fried them in a pan and it was kind of scary all that bubbling and popping. I've been burned by hot grease plenty of times and it just isn't a pleasant experience.

After dinner I showed Mark some of this wedding stuff I've been obsessing about (he really isn't so thrilled that I've been trying to take a jump start into planning so soon, but is being understanding now that I've expressed how important it is to me), and we went running around the subdivision thingy for a while. Now I'm about to watch the Secret Life of the American Teenager in a few minutes which I am fairly excited about. It pretty much is the only show that I really like to watch lately.

Toodles,
Samantha

Thursday, June 18, 2009

I should have been a child model.

Honestly, I was so cute. SO CUTE!
I love watching this home videos. I'm in a very nostalgic mood lately. I guess it's easy to figure out why.
Working all weekend at night, and then Sunday is Father's Day so we're going out to dinner and then I'll need to be studying for my final exam the rest of the night.
Would it be weird of my to lay out in the grass outside of my apartment? On a blanket of course, but I think it might be weird...particularly if I'm alone.

That's all I've got right now.
Samantha

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

SLEEPY!

I just have such a hard time trying to fall asleep when I know I have to wake up early. Why is that? Shouldn't I fall asleep more quickly? Well whatever, I didn't. Now I'm pretty tired.

Interning today was boring, frankly. All we really did was go to court for two of the kids and they were both dismissed. I started getting together some of my progress notes even though I don't think I actually have to submit them until I write them for July. Today was the dreaded 8 hour shift though and then the driving home in miles upon miles of traffic on M-59...not good.

I had dinner at my parent's house and hung out there. Picked through some of my grandma's pots and pans and other random objects, and didn't really do much else except that I picked myself up another home video to watch. This time it's the first one my parent's ever made, starting from the day before I was born. Right now my baptism is being taped, and my dad taped the whole thing, the pastor did it after the service and gave an entire explanation of baptism which I think was cool. 80s hair/fashion is hilarious also. Actually my dad is not taping, I don't know who is taping. My godparents are my Aunt Michele, Aunt Linda, and Uncle Mike.

Anyways, it's fun to watch this stuff. Not just to watch me as a baby but watching the adults.
We're in my Grandma Jackie's house right now having my baptismal party/luncheon. And my Grandpa Hannan is still alive! And my Great Grandma! And me and my Grandpa Vierk are sleeping on a chair together, little baby me. Aw and my Grandma Jackie is funny and happy here. And ridiculous 80s music is playing. It's so nice to see all of this.

I'm gonna just keep watching.
Samantha

Monday, June 15, 2009

forgetful

Oops, I forgot to post everyday already.
I'll do a small update now while I have some time before dinner and class about what happened yesterday.

My sister worked for me so I had the ENTIRE day off to recooperate and relax and catch up on cleaning and homework. I vacuumed, did laundry, did dishes, picked up the house basically. Studying - didn't get too much done but at least it was something. I decided to take a walk up to CVS and do a little bit of shopping for some cards and some air fresheners and little things. The walk was very nice, and it was beautiful outside yesterday for the most part. Today has been gorgeous as well.

My family also came to visit and have a look at the apartment now that it's full of actual stuff. It's a little bit too small in here for everyone to really be comfortable in one room, and Sabrina wasn't even here, or Mark, so it really isn't ideal to actually have people over very often.

Mark and I went to Wendy's and I went to bed early since I had to be up early in the morning for work, although I had a difficult time falling asleep.

I'll write again before bed,
Samantha

Saturday, June 13, 2009

so long, so long

RIP Grandma.
The sermon at the funeral was very good I thought, but other parts of the whole catholic service thing were a little confusing. I got to do a reading and was pretty nervous. I was too confused and distracted by the oddities of what was going on around me that I really didn't cry during the funeral, except when the Priest was doing the sermon and again when Sam and Alexis came through the little line that we had going where the immediate family hugs other family and friends. I don't know why I suddenly was like bawling and then my mom and dad both looked like they had tears in their eyes or something and were like "Samantha stop it!" but I don't know why that suddenly happened. I feel like crying again right now. It really doesn't seem real to me still, even after all that has happened. I just don't understand how it can be possible. Nothing was different! She was the same as always. She really was. I just don't get it.
I plan on going through all my mom and dad's photo albums tomorrow to find a picture of my grandma and me and make a copy and buy a frame so I can add it to my windowsill of pictures. I'll probably find some more I want framed too of other family or friends. But I'd really like to have a picture of her to keep.

It's just so weird. I can't get over it. I don't know how it can be possible that she's gone now. But like the Priest said, she's in heaven now and is reunited with God and her husband and she must be so happy.

exhaustion x1243254320

The days events:

worked at Dairy Queen from 10-6. I was so exhausted the entire time, I thought I could honestly pass out. Not in the best of moods.

dropped by the house to give my dad some money. I pay him around 100 bucks a month for my car insurance and phone bill combined. so far I've only given him about 50.

came home and got a little ready, then Mark and I decided we would go back to my parents' and barbecue something up. We went to Meijer, bought ribs and sauce, and headed over there. Sadly, we didn't realize how much time it takes to make ribs WELL (slow cooking and such) and so we didn't boil the ribs nearly long enough and it took two times of putting them on the grill to figure out if we could get it right. And they still weren't quite done. The sauce was good though.

wings game was on & hung out with Jodi, Sam, Lex, and Julianne. We went to Taco Bell (of course).

I burnt my arm on hot grease today.
My Grandma's funeral is tomorrow.
Next week I finally have a day off and I'm super excited.
I really really need to catch up on my sleep. Like ASAP. Like meaning right this very moment.

Calling it a night.
Samantha

Thursday, June 11, 2009

New new new

A fresh start on a new blog.
I promise that I will actually blog everyday. (Maybe.) At least I hope I can.
I got a fortune cookie a few weeks ago that told me to keep a journal and write in it daily. Which was so awesome! because a) I love journals and b) I love fortune cookies. And I tend to take fortune cookies to heart.

So what's been new with me? A lot, to be quite honest. Too much to write here. I'd probably be writing for days. Highlights include
1) Mark & I have a new apartment. We moved in almost a month ago now.
2) I started an internship working at a local County Circuit Court. I'm an intern for an intensive caseworker, and so my job is basically to help kids who have gotten into some trouble and seemingly need more help than the typical kid on probation for various reasons (mental health issues, destructive home environment, ect). It is a little bit of a culture shock at times but I'm really glad that I can at least make some sort of mark in helping those in need.
3) Sadly, my Grandma Jackie just passed away. It was very unexpected (she wasn't really sick or in the hospital or anything) and so arrangements are being made now for a funeral service and such. There's a lot to say on that subject too, but I don't really want to even get into it.

I'm going to try and update as much as possible, but I can't really reveal too much about the work I am doing since these kids are in the court system and I think that means that information about cases is confidential. I could explain situations surrounding them though, if something worth mentioning occurs (and I'm sure that there will be).

My other blog (livejournal) I had been keeping since freshman year of high school but it was getting far too long and too difficult to keep up with. I've decided to close it off (it still exists but I won't write in it anymore) and call it simply a high-school, younger years type journal.

As for what I'm up to currently - I just got home for interning. It was a pretty interesting day; I went around to a couple houses instead of schools for the first time. That's basically what it's going to be like all summer since school is out. I'm just relaxing now before I have to work at Dairy Queen at 6.

Write later,
Sam